Monday, February 23, 2009
Tie Me Up & Make Me Blow You - Chapter 7
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Wednesday, February 18, 2009
Tie Me Up & Make Me Blow You - Chapter 8
Chapter 8
"I like it when you call me princess. You make me feel like one and I like savoring the thought of being the princess of your fantasy island. I'll be your princess forever and ever," she said giving him a smile that would make anyone want her as his princess.
"Back to our sexual fantasy," he said smiling with her. "We are doomed to spend the rest of our lives on this little island alone," he said repeating his smile only more widely this time. "Yes, I like this game," he said appearing satisfied that she finally came up with a game that he could play. "I could live with you as my only woman for the rest of my life."
"Thank you," she said. "I'm glad you like this game," she said with a sexy smile, "because I do, too," she said giving him a sexy look. "You make it sound like you've played this game before. You make it sound like this is your real fantasy."
"This is a game and the perfect game that I can play with you," he said with a lustful stare. "You are the rich bitch, the spoiled princess, and I am your hired hand. You treat me with disrespect and distain. I am beneath you, but once on the island, I am more than your equal, I am your superior and as it turns out, I am your savior. Because of my survival skills of being able to start a fire, build a shelter, find food, and catch fish, you look up to me and depend on me to sustain your miserable and undeserving life."
"Do you slap me around a bit?"
"No."
"Do you rip off my clothes?"
"No."
"Do you tie me to a tree and have your way with me?"
"No, Princess. Not in this game. This is my game. Now, just listen and be quiet," he said chuckling at her continual interruptions.
"Okay, I'll be quiet," she said returning his laugh and sexy stare.
"Now, instead of looking down on me and instead of giving me your disdain, you give me your friendship and cooperation because you need me to take care of you.. Now, you want me and instead of me trying to seduce you, you willingly offer me sex for food, comfort, and shelter. Only, now, I am the one who resists you."
"Oh, I like this game even better than you hitting me and tying me to a tree. I really like this game, I do. This game could be my favorite all time game. I could play this game every day," she said smiling at him seductively. "This game reminds me of that movie, Swept Away. Madonna and her husband director, Guy Ritchie, made it, but it was terrible. All she did throughout the entire movie was to pose and show off her buff body. She is a terrible actress."
"The original movie, an Italian made movie, by the same name, was much better," he said. "It was so much more erotic. The actors did a realistic job in playing their roles. There was more tension and hate between the two. It was hot, very hot, especially in the end when they fall in love with one another."
"Yes, I saw the original movie, too," she said. "It was erotic the way they developed the characters on board the yacht. Then, when they turned and twisted them around after a storm destroyed their boat, it was erotic fun to watch when they reversed their roles, once they were lost at sea and stuck together on the deserted island. It was such a strange fate of events that brought them together when they were so far apart on everything in life."
"You could say that about us, don't you think, Princess? Here we are two people from the opposite sides of the tracks and at the far end of the spectrum of life only to come together in your bedroom while you are tied to the bed and nearly naked," he said staring at her body. "Normally, had we met out in public, you'd take the lead and put me in my place. Alas, with you tied to the bed, I am in control," he said with a laugh. "Another man would take advantage of this situation and of you, but I won't. I'm content just to stand here and admire you and to stay with you for a while longer."
"Yes, you could say that about us, too. We are very different," she said looking at him without talking for a while. Her mind flashed from the movie to her present situation. He was exciting her with his imagination. She liked how he thought. She liked it when he told her to be quiet and just to listen. "I agree with you that we have lived very different lives and just as in real life now, in the movie, you could feel the hatred they had for one another," she said. "I felt that for you when you stole my pearls. If I had a gun, I would have shot you, I think, to save my precious pearls."
"There's more to life than pearls, Princess."
"Yes, of course, I agree, they are just pearls. Just like the shell of a mollusk, they are just calcium carbonate in minute crystalline form, which has been deposited in concentric layers. Yet their story in Swept Away was a political story, the communist/socialist poor man against the imperialistic rich bitch. He was the hired help, subservient to her in every way, yet, once they were swept away; he was the one who could take care of everything she needed to survive. He was the one who was at the top of the chain instead of at the bottom. He was the one that she depended upon to save her."
"Is that how you see yourself as a rich, bitch and at the top of the chain?"
"I may be rich, but I'm not anyone's bitch, I can assure you that. And yes, able to afford to go anywhere, do anything, and buy everything at any time, I would determine that to be top of the chain. Wouldn't you? Wealth after all is time."
"How do you mean?"
"The more wealth you have, the more you can afford to hire people to take care of those things that you don't want to do and the more time you have for yourself and for the those things that you want to do."
"Ah, yes, money does allow you to look at everything differently, I guess," he said.
"Everything and everyone has a price in this world, even freedom, especially freedom, and freedom is time. Time is money. Time cost money," she said suddenly looking saddened with her words.
"Yes, I agree with you. Everyone has a price, Princess," he said with a smile. "Your price was those pearls. I imagine even though they are very expensive and are very special to you; the monetary value is not why they mean so much to you. I imagined you sacrificed much more than they are worth."
She looked away from him, but it was obvious that what he said was getting to her. It was as if he could read her thoughts. She bit her lip before she spoke again.
"I liked it in the movie when they kissed and made love. Only, it was after he forced himself upon her and after she rejected him. That scene was the height of the tension in the movie, I thought. Then, after spending time on the island, she wanted him and wanted to be with him. Only, now, he rejected her and that was a nice twist."
"How so?"
"Think about it. What man alone on a deserted island with a beautiful woman would reject her? It takes a special man to have that kind of will power."
"Am I such a man?"
"Yes, I think you are, otherwise, you would have had your way with me already and then you would have left with my pearls."
"I see. So, you don't think that I'll have my way with you?"
"Oh, I think you will."
"And you don't think that I'll leave with your pearls."
"I don't know," she said staring at him before answering more. "I hope you won't."
The tension in the movie, much like the tension in this room, was well done going back and forth between the characters' wants, needs, and desires. Then, when they finally came together, you could tell that they were in love. It was all so romantic and the tension is what maintained my interest then as now."
"I think it was a very sensually erotic movie and very well done. The location budget and costume budget for that movie must have been nil, though," he said with a laugh..
"Yeah, then in the end it was so romantic when you thought that they would return to the way that they had lived their lives only to reach out for one another and continue their love affair. She had fallen in love with him and he had fallen in love with her." She closed her eyes and swooned.. "It was so romantic."
"Truly it was as romantic as it was erotic," he said staring at her.
She looked at him with a look she had never given any man. In the past with her it had always been about sex. Now, it was more than that. Now, it was more about love, love that she never knew she could have. Was this it? Was this what she was feeling? How do you know if you've never felt love before?
Suddenly, instead of him just being a burglar, he had become her suitor, her confidant, and her friend. As a new game player of yet one more of her sexual games, so she thought, he'd soon become her lover, so she hoped. Only, this time, she was more excited to play a game with him than she had been excited to play a game with anyone else before. This seemed more than just a game and she was right to feel that way because, this time, unbeknownst to the both of them yet, this game wasn't a game, but it was real life and this was the real thing.
"Is this kismet that you are here with me now," she said with a light heartedness to her spirit created by her comfortableness with him, "that you are robbing my house with me helplessly tied to the bed?" She was unguarded now and vulnerable, which is why, perhaps, he was able to read her so easily. Feebly she feigned at pulling against her ties again. "Are you my hero? Will you save me from myself? Will I fall madly in love with you? Will we escape to our own deserted island and live out our life in bliss? Will our fantasy become reality?"
She had no idea how right she was. Perhaps, subconsciously she already knew. Perhaps, he would be her hero. Perhaps, this dark knight would become her handsome prince, only instead of riding in on a white horse; he rode in on a white, rented golf cart. She wondered if she could see living happily ever after with him?
In the next chapter Kathy and the burglar make a connection.
"I like it when you call me princess. You make me feel like one and I like savoring the thought of being the princess of your fantasy island. I'll be your princess forever and ever," she said giving him a smile that would make anyone want her as his princess.
"Back to our sexual fantasy," he said smiling with her. "We are doomed to spend the rest of our lives on this little island alone," he said repeating his smile only more widely this time. "Yes, I like this game," he said appearing satisfied that she finally came up with a game that he could play. "I could live with you as my only woman for the rest of my life."
"Thank you," she said. "I'm glad you like this game," she said with a sexy smile, "because I do, too," she said giving him a sexy look. "You make it sound like you've played this game before. You make it sound like this is your real fantasy."
"This is a game and the perfect game that I can play with you," he said with a lustful stare. "You are the rich bitch, the spoiled princess, and I am your hired hand. You treat me with disrespect and distain. I am beneath you, but once on the island, I am more than your equal, I am your superior and as it turns out, I am your savior. Because of my survival skills of being able to start a fire, build a shelter, find food, and catch fish, you look up to me and depend on me to sustain your miserable and undeserving life."
"Do you slap me around a bit?"
"No."
"Do you rip off my clothes?"
"No."
"Do you tie me to a tree and have your way with me?"
"No, Princess. Not in this game. This is my game. Now, just listen and be quiet," he said chuckling at her continual interruptions.
"Okay, I'll be quiet," she said returning his laugh and sexy stare.
"Now, instead of looking down on me and instead of giving me your disdain, you give me your friendship and cooperation because you need me to take care of you.. Now, you want me and instead of me trying to seduce you, you willingly offer me sex for food, comfort, and shelter. Only, now, I am the one who resists you."
"Oh, I like this game even better than you hitting me and tying me to a tree. I really like this game, I do. This game could be my favorite all time game. I could play this game every day," she said smiling at him seductively. "This game reminds me of that movie, Swept Away. Madonna and her husband director, Guy Ritchie, made it, but it was terrible. All she did throughout the entire movie was to pose and show off her buff body. She is a terrible actress."
"The original movie, an Italian made movie, by the same name, was much better," he said. "It was so much more erotic. The actors did a realistic job in playing their roles. There was more tension and hate between the two. It was hot, very hot, especially in the end when they fall in love with one another."
"Yes, I saw the original movie, too," she said. "It was erotic the way they developed the characters on board the yacht. Then, when they turned and twisted them around after a storm destroyed their boat, it was erotic fun to watch when they reversed their roles, once they were lost at sea and stuck together on the deserted island. It was such a strange fate of events that brought them together when they were so far apart on everything in life."
"You could say that about us, don't you think, Princess? Here we are two people from the opposite sides of the tracks and at the far end of the spectrum of life only to come together in your bedroom while you are tied to the bed and nearly naked," he said staring at her body. "Normally, had we met out in public, you'd take the lead and put me in my place. Alas, with you tied to the bed, I am in control," he said with a laugh. "Another man would take advantage of this situation and of you, but I won't. I'm content just to stand here and admire you and to stay with you for a while longer."
"Yes, you could say that about us, too. We are very different," she said looking at him without talking for a while. Her mind flashed from the movie to her present situation. He was exciting her with his imagination. She liked how he thought. She liked it when he told her to be quiet and just to listen. "I agree with you that we have lived very different lives and just as in real life now, in the movie, you could feel the hatred they had for one another," she said. "I felt that for you when you stole my pearls. If I had a gun, I would have shot you, I think, to save my precious pearls."
"There's more to life than pearls, Princess."
"Yes, of course, I agree, they are just pearls. Just like the shell of a mollusk, they are just calcium carbonate in minute crystalline form, which has been deposited in concentric layers. Yet their story in Swept Away was a political story, the communist/socialist poor man against the imperialistic rich bitch. He was the hired help, subservient to her in every way, yet, once they were swept away; he was the one who could take care of everything she needed to survive. He was the one who was at the top of the chain instead of at the bottom. He was the one that she depended upon to save her."
"Is that how you see yourself as a rich, bitch and at the top of the chain?"
"I may be rich, but I'm not anyone's bitch, I can assure you that. And yes, able to afford to go anywhere, do anything, and buy everything at any time, I would determine that to be top of the chain. Wouldn't you? Wealth after all is time."
"How do you mean?"
"The more wealth you have, the more you can afford to hire people to take care of those things that you don't want to do and the more time you have for yourself and for the those things that you want to do."
"Ah, yes, money does allow you to look at everything differently, I guess," he said.
"Everything and everyone has a price in this world, even freedom, especially freedom, and freedom is time. Time is money. Time cost money," she said suddenly looking saddened with her words.
"Yes, I agree with you. Everyone has a price, Princess," he said with a smile. "Your price was those pearls. I imagine even though they are very expensive and are very special to you; the monetary value is not why they mean so much to you. I imagined you sacrificed much more than they are worth."
She looked away from him, but it was obvious that what he said was getting to her. It was as if he could read her thoughts. She bit her lip before she spoke again.
"I liked it in the movie when they kissed and made love. Only, it was after he forced himself upon her and after she rejected him. That scene was the height of the tension in the movie, I thought. Then, after spending time on the island, she wanted him and wanted to be with him. Only, now, he rejected her and that was a nice twist."
"How so?"
"Think about it. What man alone on a deserted island with a beautiful woman would reject her? It takes a special man to have that kind of will power."
"Am I such a man?"
"Yes, I think you are, otherwise, you would have had your way with me already and then you would have left with my pearls."
"I see. So, you don't think that I'll have my way with you?"
"Oh, I think you will."
"And you don't think that I'll leave with your pearls."
"I don't know," she said staring at him before answering more. "I hope you won't."
The tension in the movie, much like the tension in this room, was well done going back and forth between the characters' wants, needs, and desires. Then, when they finally came together, you could tell that they were in love. It was all so romantic and the tension is what maintained my interest then as now."
"I think it was a very sensually erotic movie and very well done. The location budget and costume budget for that movie must have been nil, though," he said with a laugh..
"Yeah, then in the end it was so romantic when you thought that they would return to the way that they had lived their lives only to reach out for one another and continue their love affair. She had fallen in love with him and he had fallen in love with her." She closed her eyes and swooned.. "It was so romantic."
"Truly it was as romantic as it was erotic," he said staring at her.
She looked at him with a look she had never given any man. In the past with her it had always been about sex. Now, it was more than that. Now, it was more about love, love that she never knew she could have. Was this it? Was this what she was feeling? How do you know if you've never felt love before?
Suddenly, instead of him just being a burglar, he had become her suitor, her confidant, and her friend. As a new game player of yet one more of her sexual games, so she thought, he'd soon become her lover, so she hoped. Only, this time, she was more excited to play a game with him than she had been excited to play a game with anyone else before. This seemed more than just a game and she was right to feel that way because, this time, unbeknownst to the both of them yet, this game wasn't a game, but it was real life and this was the real thing.
"Is this kismet that you are here with me now," she said with a light heartedness to her spirit created by her comfortableness with him, "that you are robbing my house with me helplessly tied to the bed?" She was unguarded now and vulnerable, which is why, perhaps, he was able to read her so easily. Feebly she feigned at pulling against her ties again. "Are you my hero? Will you save me from myself? Will I fall madly in love with you? Will we escape to our own deserted island and live out our life in bliss? Will our fantasy become reality?"
She had no idea how right she was. Perhaps, subconsciously she already knew. Perhaps, he would be her hero. Perhaps, this dark knight would become her handsome prince, only instead of riding in on a white horse; he rode in on a white, rented golf cart. She wondered if she could see living happily ever after with him?
In the next chapter Kathy and the burglar make a connection.
Friday, February 13, 2009
Tie Me Up & Make Me Blow You - Chapter 9
Chapter 9
She looked at him with a look she had never given any man. In the past with her it had always been about sex. Now, it was more than that. Now, it was more about love, love that she never knew she could have. Was this it? Was this what she was feeling? How do you know it's love if you've never felt love before?
Suddenly, instead of him just being a burglar, he had become her suitor, her confidant, and her friend. As a new game player of yet one more of her sexual games, so she thought, he'd soon become her lover, so she hoped. Only, this time, she was more excited to play a game with him than she had been excited to play a game with anyone else before. This seemed more than just a game and she was right to feel that way because, this time, unbeknownst to the both of them yet, this game wasn't a game, but it was real life and this was the real thing.
"Is this kismet that you are here with me now," she said with a light heartedness to her spirit created by her comfortableness with him, "that you are robbing my house with me helplessly tied to the bed?" She was unguarded now and vulnerable, which is why, perhaps, he was able to read her so easily. Feebly she feigned at pulling against her ties again. "Are you my hero? Will you save me from myself? Will I fall madly in love with you? Will we escape to our own deserted island and live out our life in bliss? Will our fantasy become reality?"
She had no idea how right she was. Perhaps, subconsciously she already knew. Perhaps, he would be her hero. Perhaps, this dark knight would become her handsome prince, only instead of riding in on a white horse; he rode in on a white, rented golf cart. She wondered if she could see living happily ever after with him?
He climbed on the bed and moved between her legs. Poised on his hands and knees above her, he lowered his lips to meet hers. He kissed her softly, but without prolonging the kiss and probing her mouth with his tongue. Expecting more passion, she returned his kiss but when she did, teasingly, he pulled away. Immediately, his teasing heightened her desire for him.
It excited her that he controlled her and had control over her. Unlike most men who would have taken advantage of her being tied to the bed and who already would have stuck their cocks in her mouth and left her there tied to the bed once they exploded their lust for her in her mouth, it excited her that he teased her passion in such a way that made her want him even more. With his gentle sensuality, he heightened her sexuality to new and higher levels than she had never experienced before. Just as she thought he was going to deliver his passionate kiss, again and again he repeated the process of pulling away from her lips, teasing her lips with his and resisting her, until she couldn't take it anymore.
"You may be tied to the bed," he laughed, "but you are hardly helpless, Princess." He looked at her through soulful eyes. "You are an extraordinarily beautiful woman and the first woman that when kissing you, I am unable to close my eyes. I can't help but stare at you. I can't take my eyes away from you for even a second."
"Well," she laughed, "maybe, if you kissed me longer, maybe if you surrendered your tongue to me, then I could convince you to close your eyes with my passion for you," she said. "Still, I love it when you tease me. You arouse me like I have never been aroused before."
"You may be right, but I can't help but wonder," he said making eye contact with her.
"Yes...tell me...what is it that you wonder?"
"I wonder if your passion is for me or if it is for any man who has tied you to the bed and partially stripped you naked in the way that I have," he said responding in the way of a typical bachelor who has been alone all of his life.
"I see. So, you think that I'd surrender myself to any man who ties me to my bed, strips me partially naked, and takes control of me."
"I don't know. Would you? Would the act of physically being controlled excite you enough or would it depend upon who was tying you to the bed and stripping you naked?"
She looked at him with wondering eyes.
"Do you think that I'm a slut?"
He looked at her with a face full of understanding.
"I don't know. Are you?"
Trying to read him, trying to determine if he was sincere or just toying with her, she gave him a long look. He wasn't like any man she had been attracted to before. The ones who captured her interest were younger, taller, and more symmetrically athletic looking, much like the tennis pro and the golfing instructor at the club. He was neither of those. Yet, there was something so very intriguing about him and something that made her want to know more about him.
"I was before and haven't been that for a long time, but with you it's different."
"Different how?"
"Hmm, well you are not an unattractive man," she said with a laugh.
"Thank you, I think. I'll take that as a compliment," he said with a smile.. "By the way, flattery will get you everywhere with me," he said with a laugh.
"I do find the fact that you robbed my house and tied me to my bed sexually exciting. If you haven't noticed, I enjoy being submissive, especially when bound and helpless," she said feebly straining against her restraints again.
"Yes, I can see that you enjoy being tied, but as I said before, I fear, you are hardly helpless," he said with a laugh. "I dare say with you tied up, no longer do you enjoy an unfair advantage but, now, we are equal."
"Do you tie all your women up or just the ones who surprise you during your burglary?"
"Actually, you are the first woman I have ever tied to the bed and I must say that it was a truly enjoyably and erotic experience."
"How so?"
"Well, apart from the obvious, being able to enjoy voyeuristic views up your skirt and down your blouse, there is the fact that most women would be helpless in this scenario."
"Oh, but I am helpless. Help, someone help me. I'm tied to the bed and the big, bad robber is stripping me naked. Help, help," she said with a laugh and with a long look before speaking again. "Only, I perceive that there is more to you than that."
"How so?"
"You are much more than a burglar. That is obvious to me. You are a man that I'd like to know more about, especially if the circumstances were a bit different. Only, I'm afraid had I not met you like this, had you not forced me to give you my undivided attention," she said pulling at her restraints and chuckling, "I may not have given you a second glance."
"Why is that, Princess?"
"Well, on the outside, you are fairly ordinary. You look much like any of the other retired golfer who hit little white balls around the golf course grass. Yet, I can see that you are nothing like any of them."
"And you know them well enough to make a fair assessment?"
"Oh, yeah. I've been around them, the same stereotypical types, for two and a half decades. I know them better than they know themselves. Women are especially astute when it comes to knowing what a man is all about."
"And your husband? What is he about?"
"That's too easy of a question. My husband, by the job that he has, as an investment banker, by the house that he owns, a mansion on the golf course of a gated community, by the people he associates himself with, other rich, white men, by the woman he married, younger and beautiful, and by the car that he drives, a Bentley, is all about money, power, and influence."
"And you Princess, what are you about?"
"I was all about sex in my younger days. I couldn't get enough of it. It was my delicious diversion so that whenever I was with a man, I didn't have to spend time alone with my bad self. I was much like a guy in that regard. Then, once I was married, I was much like any other housewife. I was about my children, my family, and my friends."
"And now? What are you about now?"
"Now, I'm lost. My children are grown and gone. My husband is having a long-term affair with his secretary that he told me he fired and but didn't. She's a woman younger and more beautiful than me. I'm alone and lonely and...I'm... just tired of living a lie that has become my life."
"And how are you lying to yourself?"
"I'm lying that all this lavish lifestyle makes me happy when in fact, it makes me bored, so bored, in fact, that I'd rather be here with you tied to my bed than to be shopping with my friends in New York City."
"Well, since I've forced you to give me your undivided attention by tying you up, I'm afraid, allow me to give you my assessment of how I perceive you."
"That's only fair, as I've given you my assessment of what I think of you."
"You fascinate me. I don't believe I've ever met anyone quite like you and in my business I meet a lot of people."
"That's odd."
"What's odd, Princess?"
"I would think that in your line of work you'd meet very few people, as in the homes you burglarize either the people would be sleeping or not at home."
"Very true, however, for me to burglarize a home, I study the person who owns it. I know the person quite well before I even enter their home. Quite like how a woman knows a man, I know my victim better than they know themselves, which is why I've never been caught, never been arrested, and never been charged with a crime even. I've never received so much as a speeding ticket."
"For someone who has such an exciting profession, you live a boring life."
"Careful is more the word, Princess. I live a very careful life."
"So, you still haven't told me how I'm different from the other woman. You still haven't told me what makes me so special."
"As I said, in my life and in my occupation, I've encountered many women like you, and as you would me, I've summed them up and passed them by without giving them a second glance. Yet, it is obvious that you are different than the norm. You are so much more now than they could ever be."
"Well, thank you. You are very kind. And, as it does with you, flattery will get you everywhere with me, too.
He looked at her without speaking.
"Shall I continue?"
In the next chapter the burglar knows Kathy all too well.
She looked at him with a look she had never given any man. In the past with her it had always been about sex. Now, it was more than that. Now, it was more about love, love that she never knew she could have. Was this it? Was this what she was feeling? How do you know it's love if you've never felt love before?
Suddenly, instead of him just being a burglar, he had become her suitor, her confidant, and her friend. As a new game player of yet one more of her sexual games, so she thought, he'd soon become her lover, so she hoped. Only, this time, she was more excited to play a game with him than she had been excited to play a game with anyone else before. This seemed more than just a game and she was right to feel that way because, this time, unbeknownst to the both of them yet, this game wasn't a game, but it was real life and this was the real thing.
"Is this kismet that you are here with me now," she said with a light heartedness to her spirit created by her comfortableness with him, "that you are robbing my house with me helplessly tied to the bed?" She was unguarded now and vulnerable, which is why, perhaps, he was able to read her so easily. Feebly she feigned at pulling against her ties again. "Are you my hero? Will you save me from myself? Will I fall madly in love with you? Will we escape to our own deserted island and live out our life in bliss? Will our fantasy become reality?"
She had no idea how right she was. Perhaps, subconsciously she already knew. Perhaps, he would be her hero. Perhaps, this dark knight would become her handsome prince, only instead of riding in on a white horse; he rode in on a white, rented golf cart. She wondered if she could see living happily ever after with him?
He climbed on the bed and moved between her legs. Poised on his hands and knees above her, he lowered his lips to meet hers. He kissed her softly, but without prolonging the kiss and probing her mouth with his tongue. Expecting more passion, she returned his kiss but when she did, teasingly, he pulled away. Immediately, his teasing heightened her desire for him.
It excited her that he controlled her and had control over her. Unlike most men who would have taken advantage of her being tied to the bed and who already would have stuck their cocks in her mouth and left her there tied to the bed once they exploded their lust for her in her mouth, it excited her that he teased her passion in such a way that made her want him even more. With his gentle sensuality, he heightened her sexuality to new and higher levels than she had never experienced before. Just as she thought he was going to deliver his passionate kiss, again and again he repeated the process of pulling away from her lips, teasing her lips with his and resisting her, until she couldn't take it anymore.
"You may be tied to the bed," he laughed, "but you are hardly helpless, Princess." He looked at her through soulful eyes. "You are an extraordinarily beautiful woman and the first woman that when kissing you, I am unable to close my eyes. I can't help but stare at you. I can't take my eyes away from you for even a second."
"Well," she laughed, "maybe, if you kissed me longer, maybe if you surrendered your tongue to me, then I could convince you to close your eyes with my passion for you," she said. "Still, I love it when you tease me. You arouse me like I have never been aroused before."
"You may be right, but I can't help but wonder," he said making eye contact with her.
"Yes...tell me...what is it that you wonder?"
"I wonder if your passion is for me or if it is for any man who has tied you to the bed and partially stripped you naked in the way that I have," he said responding in the way of a typical bachelor who has been alone all of his life.
"I see. So, you think that I'd surrender myself to any man who ties me to my bed, strips me partially naked, and takes control of me."
"I don't know. Would you? Would the act of physically being controlled excite you enough or would it depend upon who was tying you to the bed and stripping you naked?"
She looked at him with wondering eyes.
"Do you think that I'm a slut?"
He looked at her with a face full of understanding.
"I don't know. Are you?"
Trying to read him, trying to determine if he was sincere or just toying with her, she gave him a long look. He wasn't like any man she had been attracted to before. The ones who captured her interest were younger, taller, and more symmetrically athletic looking, much like the tennis pro and the golfing instructor at the club. He was neither of those. Yet, there was something so very intriguing about him and something that made her want to know more about him.
"I was before and haven't been that for a long time, but with you it's different."
"Different how?"
"Hmm, well you are not an unattractive man," she said with a laugh.
"Thank you, I think. I'll take that as a compliment," he said with a smile.. "By the way, flattery will get you everywhere with me," he said with a laugh.
"I do find the fact that you robbed my house and tied me to my bed sexually exciting. If you haven't noticed, I enjoy being submissive, especially when bound and helpless," she said feebly straining against her restraints again.
"Yes, I can see that you enjoy being tied, but as I said before, I fear, you are hardly helpless," he said with a laugh. "I dare say with you tied up, no longer do you enjoy an unfair advantage but, now, we are equal."
"Do you tie all your women up or just the ones who surprise you during your burglary?"
"Actually, you are the first woman I have ever tied to the bed and I must say that it was a truly enjoyably and erotic experience."
"How so?"
"Well, apart from the obvious, being able to enjoy voyeuristic views up your skirt and down your blouse, there is the fact that most women would be helpless in this scenario."
"Oh, but I am helpless. Help, someone help me. I'm tied to the bed and the big, bad robber is stripping me naked. Help, help," she said with a laugh and with a long look before speaking again. "Only, I perceive that there is more to you than that."
"How so?"
"You are much more than a burglar. That is obvious to me. You are a man that I'd like to know more about, especially if the circumstances were a bit different. Only, I'm afraid had I not met you like this, had you not forced me to give you my undivided attention," she said pulling at her restraints and chuckling, "I may not have given you a second glance."
"Why is that, Princess?"
"Well, on the outside, you are fairly ordinary. You look much like any of the other retired golfer who hit little white balls around the golf course grass. Yet, I can see that you are nothing like any of them."
"And you know them well enough to make a fair assessment?"
"Oh, yeah. I've been around them, the same stereotypical types, for two and a half decades. I know them better than they know themselves. Women are especially astute when it comes to knowing what a man is all about."
"And your husband? What is he about?"
"That's too easy of a question. My husband, by the job that he has, as an investment banker, by the house that he owns, a mansion on the golf course of a gated community, by the people he associates himself with, other rich, white men, by the woman he married, younger and beautiful, and by the car that he drives, a Bentley, is all about money, power, and influence."
"And you Princess, what are you about?"
"I was all about sex in my younger days. I couldn't get enough of it. It was my delicious diversion so that whenever I was with a man, I didn't have to spend time alone with my bad self. I was much like a guy in that regard. Then, once I was married, I was much like any other housewife. I was about my children, my family, and my friends."
"And now? What are you about now?"
"Now, I'm lost. My children are grown and gone. My husband is having a long-term affair with his secretary that he told me he fired and but didn't. She's a woman younger and more beautiful than me. I'm alone and lonely and...I'm... just tired of living a lie that has become my life."
"And how are you lying to yourself?"
"I'm lying that all this lavish lifestyle makes me happy when in fact, it makes me bored, so bored, in fact, that I'd rather be here with you tied to my bed than to be shopping with my friends in New York City."
"Well, since I've forced you to give me your undivided attention by tying you up, I'm afraid, allow me to give you my assessment of how I perceive you."
"That's only fair, as I've given you my assessment of what I think of you."
"You fascinate me. I don't believe I've ever met anyone quite like you and in my business I meet a lot of people."
"That's odd."
"What's odd, Princess?"
"I would think that in your line of work you'd meet very few people, as in the homes you burglarize either the people would be sleeping or not at home."
"Very true, however, for me to burglarize a home, I study the person who owns it. I know the person quite well before I even enter their home. Quite like how a woman knows a man, I know my victim better than they know themselves, which is why I've never been caught, never been arrested, and never been charged with a crime even. I've never received so much as a speeding ticket."
"For someone who has such an exciting profession, you live a boring life."
"Careful is more the word, Princess. I live a very careful life."
"So, you still haven't told me how I'm different from the other woman. You still haven't told me what makes me so special."
"As I said, in my life and in my occupation, I've encountered many women like you, and as you would me, I've summed them up and passed them by without giving them a second glance. Yet, it is obvious that you are different than the norm. You are so much more now than they could ever be."
"Well, thank you. You are very kind. And, as it does with you, flattery will get you everywhere with me, too.
He looked at her without speaking.
"Shall I continue?"
In the next chapter the burglar knows Kathy all too well.
Monday, February 9, 2009
Tie Me Up & Make Me Blow You - Chapter 10
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Friday, February 6, 2009
Tie Me Up & Make Me Blow You - Chapter 11
Chapter 11
"Do you have a thing about and an aversion against housewives?"
"No, not at all. Housewives are as American as apple pie. I loved Donna Reed, Harriet Nelson, and June Cleaver. My mother was a housewife. Only, to me, a housewife doesn't have servants. Yet, you kid yourself if you think you are just a mere housewife. You are more the madam of the household than you are a lowly housewife."
"I see. Do you hold my lack of cleaning and cooking skills against me, then?"
"Why bother with drudgery, Princess," he said waving a hand of extravagance in the air, "when you can afford to pay someone else to do it? Life is too short to be tied down to the kitchen. I'd rather be out and about than mowing my lawn."
"Yes, especially when I can be tied down to the bed," she said with a laugh.
"Seriously though, I'm serious when I say that you are so much more than all of that and all of this."
"We finally agree on something. There are more important things to do than dusting and vacuuming."
"Well said from someone who actually has a brain in her head and, I dare say, from someone who has never dusted or vacuumed in her life." He gave her another long look. "You want more than this, don't you? You are as complex as you are exciting and I like that about you. You challenge me, which is why I'm drawn to you and which is why I'm still here chatting with you while risking arrest." He looked at her with a look that he had never given another woman. "I'm mesmerized by you."
"You are the first who sees more than my pretty face and my hot body. You are the first man who has taken the time to look past my tits and my ass."
"Sorry, did you say something," he said staring at her tits."
"Very funny, ha, ha."
"Should I continue or should I stop?"
"Well, you've gone this far, you may as well stick your other foot in your mouth, too."
"Only, you're trapped. Trapped in what some may fantasize as a lavish life and their perfect paradise, only all of this has been your prison. I dare say this lifestyle is slowly killing you. You are living the shell of the life of the fun loving woman you once were. You want to fly, you need to fly away, but your wings have been clipped and you are trapped here to languish alone without the love and without the support of a faithful husband. You are alone and lonely in this façade of a marriage."
"I think that's quite enough. I'm unsure if I want to hear anymore of—"
"As a professional burglar," he said pocketing his hands. "I see snippets into people's lives and I can see by your husband's collection of materialism that he regards money more than he even regards his most valuable possession.. .you."
"How dare you? You don't even know my husband."
Undeterred in her protest, he continued.
"Moreover, I see that you so are miserable and are in so desperate need of a kindred spirit, a lover, a friend, and a soul mate that you allow me, a total stranger and a lifetime criminal at that, to tie you up on the hope and in the chance that I will offer you more of what you truly want and need. You are desperate, so desperate for love and for attention that you're pathetic in your behavior by allowing those less than you to disrespect you, as you have done with the husbands of your friends."
"How can you know so much about me when I've never met you?"
"Oh, I know you. I've been watching you. I know all my victims before I rob them of their possessions. Besides, people talk. All that I have to do is to listen."
"They talk about me?"
"Yes."
"You mean, just the men, of course?"
"No, it's both men and women who have much to say about you."
"What do they say?"
"The men lust over your beauty. They talk endlessly what they'd do to your body."
"Well, I don't think I want to hear any more of that. What about the women? What do they say about me?"
"The women, of course, are envious of you. Whereas, the men talk about wanting you, the women talk about despising you because their men want you. "
"I see," she said giving him an analytical look. "What are you a psychiatrist? You've psychoanalyzed me more than my therapist."
Suddenly, their playfulness turned sour. She was angry that she was so transparent to this stranger and to this man who had come into her house and into her life.
"I can see you're angry with me," he said making eye contact with her.
"How dare you say those things about me? You don't even now me. How could you possibly know who I am? You don't know what I've had to bear in this marriage. How could you? You don't know what it's like to live—"
"I've upset you, Princess, and I'm sorry. What I meant to say was—"
"Stop, just please stop. Don't say any more, not another word. I won't listen to whatever it is you say. You are morbidly depressing me. Just fuck me and go....like all the rest," she said spreading her legs wider while resigning herself to being raped by him. "Or, if you prefer, as most men do, just stick your cock in my mouth, put a hand behind my head, and force me to blow you until you explode away your lust for me in my mouth and down my throat," she said opening her mouth and licking her lips with her tongue. "Only, please, I beg you...leave my pearls," she said with tears running down her cheeks.. "They mean more to me than you know and more than you ever could understand. Please don't take my pearls."
He looked at her and searched her eyes with his before standing up from the bed. He walked over to where he had placed his valise on the floor by the doorway in readiness to flee. He reached inside and pulled out her pearls. He rolled a pearl between his fingers while looking at them and felt the considerable weight of them in his hand. He looked at her pearls, as if wondering why they were so valuable to her and why she would willingly give her body to him for their safe return. In all the years he had burglarized homes and with all the jewels he had stolen, not once did he feel any such regard for the possessions that he stole. Never had he felt an attraction for any jewel in the way she loved these pearls. He turned to her and looked at her. She looked so sad. How could something so beautiful look so broken?
"I can only imagine what you've sacrificed to earn these pearls, Princess. They are but a mere token of what you gave up to get them, no doubt. Yes, you've sacrificed much, I bet. No doubt, you've sacrificed your life and your freedom. You view these pearls as your reward and as would a kid spend all his coins hoping to win the golden gumball and to cash that in for a prize, I can see that mere money cannot replace these pearls that you regard so much. Here," he said laying them on her stomach. "I can't take them from you. I don't want them. You may have them. Certainly, they mean more to you than to me."
She started crying until her crying turned to sobbing.
"Please untie me. Please," she said pulling hard against her ties.
He reached over and untied her. She lifted herself up to a position with her knees bent and her arms draped around her legs. She rested her forehead on her knees while sobbing.
When he sat on the bed to comfort her, she threw her arms around him. When she did that, when she was free to touch him, she saw that she melted him with her touch and he returned her embrace. It was then that they kissed. Finally, they kissed and it was a French kiss with probing tongues and hands that explored one another's bodies.
This time it was a real kiss, a long kiss, and a passionate kiss. Her hands were all over him as much as his hands were all over her. Quickly they stripped one another and came together in a tight embrace. She was ready for him. She wanted him more than she had ever wanted any other man in her life. He touched her deeper and where no man has ever touched her before. He read who she was. He knew her. Finally, he was someone who got her. He moved her.
Kissing and kissing her, he explored her breasts and fingered her nipples before reaching down to feel her passion for him. She was so very wet and so very ready. He was so very hard and so very ready. He mounted her and when he did, she reached down and inserted him and guided him inside her. In a gasp and a hump he was deep inside of her. They moved like that, as one and in a passionate rhythm that mimicked their newfound and sudden bond for one another. It was sexual, it was magical, and it was love.
Only, they didn't fuck. They made love. They made love as if it was a modern dance between a man and a woman. They made love as if it was not only their first time and but also as if it was their last time. Their expressiveness for one another fueled their passion.
She rolled him over and instead of acting like the sexual animal she has always been with men in the past, she acted more graceful and her actions were more impulsive rather than rehearsed or planned. Each hump had new found meaning. Each thrust suggested something more than just sex and they came together as one and as a couple who have been having sex for years. Their orgasm tightened their embrace and they stayed like that clutching one another until their passion lessened enough for them to let go.
There was no dialogue, just holding, touching, and kissing. They spoke without words. Their touches confessed their desire for one another and their looks revealed their bond and their love. There was no hiding it. Even though this had started out as a game, it had quickly flourished to love. It was as if they had practiced this dance for years only to perform it now for the first time and every move was choreographed perfectly, only this wasn't a dance, it was real. This was the real thing and the beginning of something beautiful.
When they parted finally, she looked at him with love in her eyes and he returned her stare with a look he had never experienced before. He had never found that special someone, until now. Alone, but never lonely, he had never been married or committed to anyone, until now. Now, it was obvious that he didn't want to leave her. Now, it was obvious that he wanted to take her with him. Now, it was obvious that he loved her.
Wild with sexual exploration and erotic passion in her youth, she had been married all of her adult life, but had never felt the way she felt now. Her life had lost its excitement and she had lost her spark to live it. With nothing new, everything had become so mundane and expected. This was something different. This feeling was something new. Never did she realize that it could be like this. With the hundreds of men she had known, she had never known love, until now. Now, she was in love
"Fuck," she said pushing him away.
"What? What did I do? Did I do something wrong?"
"You know what you did."
"Well, if it's any consolation, " he said giving her a long look. Instantly, his look read her. "I feel the same way about you, too."
Instinctively, he knew her thoughts and she loved that about him. Actions without words, they were so in tuned with one another.
"Now what? What do we do now?"
"I'd say," he said allowing a smug smile to take hold of his face, "we flee to our deserted island and our tropical paradise and live our lives in bliss." He looked at her. "I'm ready to go and I'm ready to go now. Yet, I'm afraid you may not be ready for that." He looked at her again waiting for her to answer before speaking and when she remained silent, he repeated his question. "Are you ready to leave your husband and this life behind for a new adventure with me?"
"I'm ready," she said softly while giving him a look. "I'm so ready," she said louder while looking at him with a face full of determination. "You have no idea how ready I am."
In the next chapter Kathy discovers why her diamond is fake.
"Do you have a thing about and an aversion against housewives?"
"No, not at all. Housewives are as American as apple pie. I loved Donna Reed, Harriet Nelson, and June Cleaver. My mother was a housewife. Only, to me, a housewife doesn't have servants. Yet, you kid yourself if you think you are just a mere housewife. You are more the madam of the household than you are a lowly housewife."
"I see. Do you hold my lack of cleaning and cooking skills against me, then?"
"Why bother with drudgery, Princess," he said waving a hand of extravagance in the air, "when you can afford to pay someone else to do it? Life is too short to be tied down to the kitchen. I'd rather be out and about than mowing my lawn."
"Yes, especially when I can be tied down to the bed," she said with a laugh.
"Seriously though, I'm serious when I say that you are so much more than all of that and all of this."
"We finally agree on something. There are more important things to do than dusting and vacuuming."
"Well said from someone who actually has a brain in her head and, I dare say, from someone who has never dusted or vacuumed in her life." He gave her another long look. "You want more than this, don't you? You are as complex as you are exciting and I like that about you. You challenge me, which is why I'm drawn to you and which is why I'm still here chatting with you while risking arrest." He looked at her with a look that he had never given another woman. "I'm mesmerized by you."
"You are the first who sees more than my pretty face and my hot body. You are the first man who has taken the time to look past my tits and my ass."
"Sorry, did you say something," he said staring at her tits."
"Very funny, ha, ha."
"Should I continue or should I stop?"
"Well, you've gone this far, you may as well stick your other foot in your mouth, too."
"Only, you're trapped. Trapped in what some may fantasize as a lavish life and their perfect paradise, only all of this has been your prison. I dare say this lifestyle is slowly killing you. You are living the shell of the life of the fun loving woman you once were. You want to fly, you need to fly away, but your wings have been clipped and you are trapped here to languish alone without the love and without the support of a faithful husband. You are alone and lonely in this façade of a marriage."
"I think that's quite enough. I'm unsure if I want to hear anymore of—"
"As a professional burglar," he said pocketing his hands. "I see snippets into people's lives and I can see by your husband's collection of materialism that he regards money more than he even regards his most valuable possession.. .you."
"How dare you? You don't even know my husband."
Undeterred in her protest, he continued.
"Moreover, I see that you so are miserable and are in so desperate need of a kindred spirit, a lover, a friend, and a soul mate that you allow me, a total stranger and a lifetime criminal at that, to tie you up on the hope and in the chance that I will offer you more of what you truly want and need. You are desperate, so desperate for love and for attention that you're pathetic in your behavior by allowing those less than you to disrespect you, as you have done with the husbands of your friends."
"How can you know so much about me when I've never met you?"
"Oh, I know you. I've been watching you. I know all my victims before I rob them of their possessions. Besides, people talk. All that I have to do is to listen."
"They talk about me?"
"Yes."
"You mean, just the men, of course?"
"No, it's both men and women who have much to say about you."
"What do they say?"
"The men lust over your beauty. They talk endlessly what they'd do to your body."
"Well, I don't think I want to hear any more of that. What about the women? What do they say about me?"
"The women, of course, are envious of you. Whereas, the men talk about wanting you, the women talk about despising you because their men want you. "
"I see," she said giving him an analytical look. "What are you a psychiatrist? You've psychoanalyzed me more than my therapist."
Suddenly, their playfulness turned sour. She was angry that she was so transparent to this stranger and to this man who had come into her house and into her life.
"I can see you're angry with me," he said making eye contact with her.
"How dare you say those things about me? You don't even now me. How could you possibly know who I am? You don't know what I've had to bear in this marriage. How could you? You don't know what it's like to live—"
"I've upset you, Princess, and I'm sorry. What I meant to say was—"
"Stop, just please stop. Don't say any more, not another word. I won't listen to whatever it is you say. You are morbidly depressing me. Just fuck me and go....like all the rest," she said spreading her legs wider while resigning herself to being raped by him. "Or, if you prefer, as most men do, just stick your cock in my mouth, put a hand behind my head, and force me to blow you until you explode away your lust for me in my mouth and down my throat," she said opening her mouth and licking her lips with her tongue. "Only, please, I beg you...leave my pearls," she said with tears running down her cheeks.. "They mean more to me than you know and more than you ever could understand. Please don't take my pearls."
He looked at her and searched her eyes with his before standing up from the bed. He walked over to where he had placed his valise on the floor by the doorway in readiness to flee. He reached inside and pulled out her pearls. He rolled a pearl between his fingers while looking at them and felt the considerable weight of them in his hand. He looked at her pearls, as if wondering why they were so valuable to her and why she would willingly give her body to him for their safe return. In all the years he had burglarized homes and with all the jewels he had stolen, not once did he feel any such regard for the possessions that he stole. Never had he felt an attraction for any jewel in the way she loved these pearls. He turned to her and looked at her. She looked so sad. How could something so beautiful look so broken?
"I can only imagine what you've sacrificed to earn these pearls, Princess. They are but a mere token of what you gave up to get them, no doubt. Yes, you've sacrificed much, I bet. No doubt, you've sacrificed your life and your freedom. You view these pearls as your reward and as would a kid spend all his coins hoping to win the golden gumball and to cash that in for a prize, I can see that mere money cannot replace these pearls that you regard so much. Here," he said laying them on her stomach. "I can't take them from you. I don't want them. You may have them. Certainly, they mean more to you than to me."
She started crying until her crying turned to sobbing.
"Please untie me. Please," she said pulling hard against her ties.
He reached over and untied her. She lifted herself up to a position with her knees bent and her arms draped around her legs. She rested her forehead on her knees while sobbing.
When he sat on the bed to comfort her, she threw her arms around him. When she did that, when she was free to touch him, she saw that she melted him with her touch and he returned her embrace. It was then that they kissed. Finally, they kissed and it was a French kiss with probing tongues and hands that explored one another's bodies.
This time it was a real kiss, a long kiss, and a passionate kiss. Her hands were all over him as much as his hands were all over her. Quickly they stripped one another and came together in a tight embrace. She was ready for him. She wanted him more than she had ever wanted any other man in her life. He touched her deeper and where no man has ever touched her before. He read who she was. He knew her. Finally, he was someone who got her. He moved her.
Kissing and kissing her, he explored her breasts and fingered her nipples before reaching down to feel her passion for him. She was so very wet and so very ready. He was so very hard and so very ready. He mounted her and when he did, she reached down and inserted him and guided him inside her. In a gasp and a hump he was deep inside of her. They moved like that, as one and in a passionate rhythm that mimicked their newfound and sudden bond for one another. It was sexual, it was magical, and it was love.
Only, they didn't fuck. They made love. They made love as if it was a modern dance between a man and a woman. They made love as if it was not only their first time and but also as if it was their last time. Their expressiveness for one another fueled their passion.
She rolled him over and instead of acting like the sexual animal she has always been with men in the past, she acted more graceful and her actions were more impulsive rather than rehearsed or planned. Each hump had new found meaning. Each thrust suggested something more than just sex and they came together as one and as a couple who have been having sex for years. Their orgasm tightened their embrace and they stayed like that clutching one another until their passion lessened enough for them to let go.
There was no dialogue, just holding, touching, and kissing. They spoke without words. Their touches confessed their desire for one another and their looks revealed their bond and their love. There was no hiding it. Even though this had started out as a game, it had quickly flourished to love. It was as if they had practiced this dance for years only to perform it now for the first time and every move was choreographed perfectly, only this wasn't a dance, it was real. This was the real thing and the beginning of something beautiful.
When they parted finally, she looked at him with love in her eyes and he returned her stare with a look he had never experienced before. He had never found that special someone, until now. Alone, but never lonely, he had never been married or committed to anyone, until now. Now, it was obvious that he didn't want to leave her. Now, it was obvious that he wanted to take her with him. Now, it was obvious that he loved her.
Wild with sexual exploration and erotic passion in her youth, she had been married all of her adult life, but had never felt the way she felt now. Her life had lost its excitement and she had lost her spark to live it. With nothing new, everything had become so mundane and expected. This was something different. This feeling was something new. Never did she realize that it could be like this. With the hundreds of men she had known, she had never known love, until now. Now, she was in love
"Fuck," she said pushing him away.
"What? What did I do? Did I do something wrong?"
"You know what you did."
"Well, if it's any consolation, " he said giving her a long look. Instantly, his look read her. "I feel the same way about you, too."
Instinctively, he knew her thoughts and she loved that about him. Actions without words, they were so in tuned with one another.
"Now what? What do we do now?"
"I'd say," he said allowing a smug smile to take hold of his face, "we flee to our deserted island and our tropical paradise and live our lives in bliss." He looked at her. "I'm ready to go and I'm ready to go now. Yet, I'm afraid you may not be ready for that." He looked at her again waiting for her to answer before speaking and when she remained silent, he repeated his question. "Are you ready to leave your husband and this life behind for a new adventure with me?"
"I'm ready," she said softly while giving him a look. "I'm so ready," she said louder while looking at him with a face full of determination. "You have no idea how ready I am."
In the next chapter Kathy discovers why her diamond is fake.
Monday, February 2, 2009
Tie Me Up & Make Me Blow You - Chapter 12 and Chapter 13
Chapter 12
"Fuck," she said pushing him away.
"What? What did I do? Did I do something wrong?"
"You know what you did," she said looking at him with those eyes. She had eyes that would melt any man and make any man do whatever she wanted.
"Well, if it's any consolation, " he said after giving her a long look and obviously reading her. "I feel the same way about you, too."
Instinctively, he apparently knew her thoughts and she loved that about him. Actions without words, they were so in tuned with one another and that was half the battle and one of the necessary ingredients needed to start their love relationship. Only, it was funny watching them dance around love without ever saying the word.
They were two confidently self-assured and intelligent people afraid of one little four letter monosyllabic word. One could understand if they were religious and the word in question was fuck instead of love. Yet, neither one was religious. You could say they were superstitious.
Love, after all, is a dirty word, especially in a relationship that just started. Before you find your special someone, you believe in love at first sight. You convince yourself you would know she or he was the one immediately when you first saw them and you can't wait to tell whoever it is that you love them. Then, when you do find your special someone, you wait for one to mention the L word before you do. No one wants to say it first. No one wants to be so vulnerable and open. What if he or she doesn't feel the same way? No one wants to be rejected. Yet, it was obvious in the way that they looked at one another that they were both in love. Certainly the L word of love would come soon after the other L word of lust was satisfied and it was.
"Now what? What do we do now?"
"I'd say," he said allowing a smug smile to take hold of his face. "We flee to my deserted island and my tropical paradise and live out the rest of our lives in harmonic bliss."
"You make it sound too easy," she said with a half smile.
In all twenty-four years of her marriage, he looked at her with a look her husband had never given her.
"I've been dreaming about living in a tropical paradise for years. I'm ready to go and I'm ready to go with you now," he said with a serious face.
With toned, thin arms, and long, shapely thighs, she sat all scrunched up with her arms hugging her knees. Naked and in the silhouette reflection that the dimly lit bedroom created, she was a vision to behold. Few women looked as good naked, but she did. Few women possessed the confidence to reveal her naked body to a man she just met, but she did. She showed him that she was more than a beautiful body, and she was. There are always flaws that women tried to hide, but she had none. She was as close to perfection as any woman could be.
"A tropical paradise sounds wonderful right about now," she said with her lips still attached to her knees and her knees muffling her words. "I could use a change. I'd like to run away...with you," she said mindlessly, as if alone and uttering what she was fantasizing before agreeing to go with him.
"Yet, I'm afraid you may not be ready for that," he said matter of fact but resolutely while eying her, as if watching for any change in her for clues to reading her thoughts. When she turned to face him with her head still resting on her knees, he looked at her again while waiting for her to answer before speaking again. She was just so damn beautiful. When she remained silent, he repeated his question. "Are you ready to leave your husband and this life behind for a new adventure with me, Princess?"
In the way he called her Princess, he made her feel like one. After being so ignored for so long by her husband, he made her feel special. She hungered for attention, affection, and love and here was a man who truly wanted her. Moreover, here was a man who truly understood her. No longer did she have to explain her every thought, want, and need to someone who didn't have the time or the inclination to understand her. No longer did she have to dream about her fantasy man...he was already here. As she had done so many times in the past, no longer did she have to play sexual games to get herself excited. She was already excited by the thoughts of being with him...forever.
"I'm ready," she said softly while giving him a look and without moving any part of her but her lips and her eyes. "I'm so ready," she said louder and lifting her head while looking at him to show him a face full of inner strength, resolve, and determination. "You have no idea how ready I am."
"We can book a flight and just go," he said. "I have plenty of money for the both of us to live out the rest of our lives in luxury."
"I have money, too.. Only, where would we go?"
"I bought a small island in the South Pacific."
"You did? Seriously?" She gave him a look that suggested that he was too good to be true. Suddenly the thoughts of cool tropical drinks with little umbrellas, white sandy beaches, and calypso music captured her imagination and her heart. She'd wear her new bikini...and bring her pearls.
"I bought the bit of land at a time when I was hitting a lot of homes and making a lot of money. Back then, it didn't cost me much to buy the island. Everyone fantasized about owning and living on a deserted island, but few realized their fantasy by acting on it. I did. Now, with so many people having so much money and so many people wanting to flee their old stressful lifestyle for their relaxed utopian dream, I'm glad I bought it when I did. It's worth so much more now, especially with you by my side," he said pausing to look at her. "With you beside me, my tropical paradise is priceless."
"May my children visit me and my grandchildren when that time comes for them?"
"Yes, of course, you can invite whomever you'd like to have visit, so long as they leave after a while," he said with a chuckle. "I've been waiting for someone like you all my life and there's only room for two in our little fantasy, I'm afraid."
She gave a curious look to his valise on the floor by the doorway. Her brow was wrinkled and she suddenly had a pensive look on her face. Then, after a while without removing her eyes from his valise, he turned to see what it was she staring.
"What is it, Princess? Is there something wrong?"
"I was just wondering—"
"Oh, that," he said looking to where she was staring before turning back to her to answer her unspoken question. "Don't worry, I won't take any of your things," he said with a chuckle. "Now, what's mine is yours."
"That's not what I was wondering."
"Sorry, then what were you wondering?"
"Did you open his safe?"
"His safe? Yes, of course, that's what I do. Normally, I only open the safe and leave, but in your case with your jewelry box there in plain view out on your—"
"And what did you find?"
"The usual stuff, money, watches, rings, assorted papers," he said while running his hand through and lifting some stuff to show her. "I found his passport, passbooks, a list of passwords and—"
"Did you find any photos?"
"Photos?" He looked at her with a face full of curiosity.
"Yes, I wonder what else my husband was hiding other than money, jewelry, and personal papers in his safe."
"I take it that he doesn't trust you, his wife of twenty-four years with the combination to his safe."
"You are correct that he doesn't trust anyone."
"I don't know, I was too busy stuffing everything in my valise to look," he said while rummaging through his valise and looking up at her before answering her. "Normally, I'm in and out within a few minutes and I always take everything that's in the safe. I just hold my valise up to the edge of the safe and push it all inside. I don't even look at what I got until I return home." He gave her a sly smile.
"Yes, that's very smart of you to work quickly and not dally. No wonder why you've never been caught." She looked at him again with those mesmerizing eyes. "Still, I wonder if you found any pictures of her," she said as if she wanted to say more, but just allowed the words, pictures of her, to drift off without further comment.
"I take everything because I never know what will come in handy later, especially should I be captured and have to negotiate my release from the police with some personal property. I never know what my victims may find invaluable. It could be trinket from a dead relative or it could be something that links them to a crime. You'd be surprised what they think is safe in their safes and what they desperately want back, once they are robbed and are willing to drop all charges to get it." He looked inside his valise. "Yes, there are photos in here," he said pulling them out and quickly viewing them.
"May I see," she said holding out her hand and suddenly stiffening her posture.
He looked at the photos of a woman semi dressed and naked. It was the same woman in all the photos. She was so very young and she was so very beautiful. Just as he could understand her oh so full of himself husband not valuing the real gem he already possessed with the love of his wife, he could understand her middle-aged husband's head being turned by such a young and beautiful vixen. Certainly, had he not been rich, this gold digger wouldn't have given him a second glance.
"Maybe, you shouldn't bother with the photos, Princess. I don't want to upset you. Besides, you have more than enough reason to leave him than to—"
"May I have my husband's photos...please? "
She had a confident way about her.. Not to be denied seeing the photos, she said please in such a way that made him give them to her.
She looked through the photos, at first flashing through them very quickly. Her eyes were tearing up. The second time she looked at the photos, she took her time looking at them. Now, she looked more hurt than angry. Once the color drained from her face, she appeared sad. Only, was her sadness because she couldn't compete with someone so young and so beautiful? Or was in not sadness but disappointment in the man she thought she loved and she thought loved her?
Twenty-four years of memories is a long amount of time to throw away for a fling with a secretary who only wants him for your money. For such a smart man, he was stupid in allowing his cock to do his thinking for him.
How could such a powerful, influential, and special man fall for such a fluff of a woman and give up her for that? Certainly, she could never care for him in the way she had nurtured his financial success over two and a half decades. What could she possibly do for him, other than give him a blowjob? The third time she stared at them, it was obvious that she was angry.
"He's so typical. He's such a fool."
"Princess, we can be at the airport and gone before your husband even comes home."
"Look," she said holding up the photo to him. "She has my ring," she said pointing to the exact ring prominently displayed on the woman's finger. "She's wearing my ring."
He leaned in for a better look at the photo.
"From the photo, that looks like the real gemstone, but I'd have to see the ring before I could make—"
"Does he buy all his tootsies copies of the same ring or did he give her my ring and leave me with the fake?"
Now, she was really mad.
"Let's not ruin what we suddenly have. We're lucky to have found—"
"I need to play this out. I need to get what is mine. My husband has a lot of my money and after serving him faithfully for twenty-four years I can't just up and leave him and allow some young bimbo to walk in and take all that I've worked so hard to earn. I want my half. I'm not leaving until he realizes what he lost, especially where it will hurt him the most. In his pocket."
"I can't argue with you. I understand.. I'd be angry too, if I were you."
She gave him a look of surprised shock before she started giggling.
"Here I am about to give up this life to run away with you to our tropical paradise and our nirvana that has snakes and bugs and monkeys and God only knows what else and..." she started laughing again. Now, it was a wild laugh, a belly laugh, a stress relieving laugh, and a laugh that she couldn't stop until she started crying.
"It's okay, Princess. It's okay. Really it is," he said gently massaging her shoulder. "Everything will be wonderful. I can wait until you settle your personal affairs with your husband. I can wait until your lawyer confronts his lawyer with the photos. He'll settle this out of court, no doubt, and will give you whatever you want."
"I don't want anything from him, other than my share of the money that he earned during the course of our marriage."
"And I agree. Someone like him doesn't want a scandal and doesn't want his reputation sullied with his stuffy and unforgiving Beacon Hill and Back Bay clients. I've seen this before with some of the things that I've found in safes and confronted the owners with through intermediaries to extort them for more money on the threat of anonymously mailing what I found to their spouses or to the police," he said with a laugh. "They are always happy to pay."
"No, that's not it," she said wiping her eyes while laughing. "It just occurred to me that I'm ready to run away with you to a tropical paradise in the South Pacific and I don't even know your name."
They both started laughing at the ridiculousness of that. They laughed until they both had tears in their eyes. After the stress of seeing the proof that her husband was still having an affair with the secretary that he told her he had fired and after seeing his secretary wearing her beautiful one-of-a-kind ring, laughter was what she needed. At least he didn't give her pearls, she thought. The thought of which made her laugh even harder.
"Martin."
"Paron?" She stopped laughing long enough to wipe her tears away.
"My name is Martin."
"Martin?" She started laughing again. Her laughter was contagious and he started laughing again, too. Barely could she ask her next question without bursting out laughing. "Is that your first name or your last name?"
"Both," he said with a laugh that made them laugh even more. "My name is Martin Martin."
"Martin Martin? I can't run away with someone who has two first names," she said bursting out with uncontrollable laughter. "Or worse, two last names?"
Now, she was belly laughing and rolling on the bed laughing and he was laughing with her.
"My Dad had a weird sense of humor," said Martin laughing with her. "He thought it funny to name his only son, Martin Martin Martin. I go by Marty," he said before making her laugh even more. "Marty Martin Martin is my name."
"Stop, I can't take it anymore. Martin Martin Martin," she said laughing. "Marty Martin Martin, this is too funny."
"I took quite a bit of ribbing in school. You should see my monogram," he said making her laugh even more with him joining her.
"That is so funny," she said while wiping tears from her eyes. "Marty Martin Martin. Seriously, I can't run away with someone who has such a redundant name. I've always like the name Chuck. I know, I shall call you Chuck," she said with a laugh. "Chuck Chuckie Charles, shall be your new name," she laughed even more.
"Well, fortunately, I like the name that I've given you, Princess, and I'm pleased that you like it, too. So, in our new life we shall go by Princess and Chuck."
Ultimately Kathy got her real ring back and more.
But that is a seperate story.
"Fuck," she said pushing him away.
"What? What did I do? Did I do something wrong?"
"You know what you did," she said looking at him with those eyes. She had eyes that would melt any man and make any man do whatever she wanted.
"Well, if it's any consolation, " he said after giving her a long look and obviously reading her. "I feel the same way about you, too."
Instinctively, he apparently knew her thoughts and she loved that about him. Actions without words, they were so in tuned with one another and that was half the battle and one of the necessary ingredients needed to start their love relationship. Only, it was funny watching them dance around love without ever saying the word.
They were two confidently self-assured and intelligent people afraid of one little four letter monosyllabic word. One could understand if they were religious and the word in question was fuck instead of love. Yet, neither one was religious. You could say they were superstitious.
Love, after all, is a dirty word, especially in a relationship that just started. Before you find your special someone, you believe in love at first sight. You convince yourself you would know she or he was the one immediately when you first saw them and you can't wait to tell whoever it is that you love them. Then, when you do find your special someone, you wait for one to mention the L word before you do. No one wants to say it first. No one wants to be so vulnerable and open. What if he or she doesn't feel the same way? No one wants to be rejected. Yet, it was obvious in the way that they looked at one another that they were both in love. Certainly the L word of love would come soon after the other L word of lust was satisfied and it was.
"Now what? What do we do now?"
"I'd say," he said allowing a smug smile to take hold of his face. "We flee to my deserted island and my tropical paradise and live out the rest of our lives in harmonic bliss."
"You make it sound too easy," she said with a half smile.
In all twenty-four years of her marriage, he looked at her with a look her husband had never given her.
"I've been dreaming about living in a tropical paradise for years. I'm ready to go and I'm ready to go with you now," he said with a serious face.
With toned, thin arms, and long, shapely thighs, she sat all scrunched up with her arms hugging her knees. Naked and in the silhouette reflection that the dimly lit bedroom created, she was a vision to behold. Few women looked as good naked, but she did. Few women possessed the confidence to reveal her naked body to a man she just met, but she did. She showed him that she was more than a beautiful body, and she was. There are always flaws that women tried to hide, but she had none. She was as close to perfection as any woman could be.
"A tropical paradise sounds wonderful right about now," she said with her lips still attached to her knees and her knees muffling her words. "I could use a change. I'd like to run away...with you," she said mindlessly, as if alone and uttering what she was fantasizing before agreeing to go with him.
"Yet, I'm afraid you may not be ready for that," he said matter of fact but resolutely while eying her, as if watching for any change in her for clues to reading her thoughts. When she turned to face him with her head still resting on her knees, he looked at her again while waiting for her to answer before speaking again. She was just so damn beautiful. When she remained silent, he repeated his question. "Are you ready to leave your husband and this life behind for a new adventure with me, Princess?"
In the way he called her Princess, he made her feel like one. After being so ignored for so long by her husband, he made her feel special. She hungered for attention, affection, and love and here was a man who truly wanted her. Moreover, here was a man who truly understood her. No longer did she have to explain her every thought, want, and need to someone who didn't have the time or the inclination to understand her. No longer did she have to dream about her fantasy man...he was already here. As she had done so many times in the past, no longer did she have to play sexual games to get herself excited. She was already excited by the thoughts of being with him...forever.
"I'm ready," she said softly while giving him a look and without moving any part of her but her lips and her eyes. "I'm so ready," she said louder and lifting her head while looking at him to show him a face full of inner strength, resolve, and determination. "You have no idea how ready I am."
"We can book a flight and just go," he said. "I have plenty of money for the both of us to live out the rest of our lives in luxury."
"I have money, too.. Only, where would we go?"
"I bought a small island in the South Pacific."
"You did? Seriously?" She gave him a look that suggested that he was too good to be true. Suddenly the thoughts of cool tropical drinks with little umbrellas, white sandy beaches, and calypso music captured her imagination and her heart. She'd wear her new bikini...and bring her pearls.
"I bought the bit of land at a time when I was hitting a lot of homes and making a lot of money. Back then, it didn't cost me much to buy the island. Everyone fantasized about owning and living on a deserted island, but few realized their fantasy by acting on it. I did. Now, with so many people having so much money and so many people wanting to flee their old stressful lifestyle for their relaxed utopian dream, I'm glad I bought it when I did. It's worth so much more now, especially with you by my side," he said pausing to look at her. "With you beside me, my tropical paradise is priceless."
"May my children visit me and my grandchildren when that time comes for them?"
"Yes, of course, you can invite whomever you'd like to have visit, so long as they leave after a while," he said with a chuckle. "I've been waiting for someone like you all my life and there's only room for two in our little fantasy, I'm afraid."
She gave a curious look to his valise on the floor by the doorway. Her brow was wrinkled and she suddenly had a pensive look on her face. Then, after a while without removing her eyes from his valise, he turned to see what it was she staring.
"What is it, Princess? Is there something wrong?"
"I was just wondering—"
"Oh, that," he said looking to where she was staring before turning back to her to answer her unspoken question. "Don't worry, I won't take any of your things," he said with a chuckle. "Now, what's mine is yours."
"That's not what I was wondering."
"Sorry, then what were you wondering?"
"Did you open his safe?"
"His safe? Yes, of course, that's what I do. Normally, I only open the safe and leave, but in your case with your jewelry box there in plain view out on your—"
"And what did you find?"
"The usual stuff, money, watches, rings, assorted papers," he said while running his hand through and lifting some stuff to show her. "I found his passport, passbooks, a list of passwords and—"
"Did you find any photos?"
"Photos?" He looked at her with a face full of curiosity.
"Yes, I wonder what else my husband was hiding other than money, jewelry, and personal papers in his safe."
"I take it that he doesn't trust you, his wife of twenty-four years with the combination to his safe."
"You are correct that he doesn't trust anyone."
"I don't know, I was too busy stuffing everything in my valise to look," he said while rummaging through his valise and looking up at her before answering her. "Normally, I'm in and out within a few minutes and I always take everything that's in the safe. I just hold my valise up to the edge of the safe and push it all inside. I don't even look at what I got until I return home." He gave her a sly smile.
"Yes, that's very smart of you to work quickly and not dally. No wonder why you've never been caught." She looked at him again with those mesmerizing eyes. "Still, I wonder if you found any pictures of her," she said as if she wanted to say more, but just allowed the words, pictures of her, to drift off without further comment.
"I take everything because I never know what will come in handy later, especially should I be captured and have to negotiate my release from the police with some personal property. I never know what my victims may find invaluable. It could be trinket from a dead relative or it could be something that links them to a crime. You'd be surprised what they think is safe in their safes and what they desperately want back, once they are robbed and are willing to drop all charges to get it." He looked inside his valise. "Yes, there are photos in here," he said pulling them out and quickly viewing them.
"May I see," she said holding out her hand and suddenly stiffening her posture.
He looked at the photos of a woman semi dressed and naked. It was the same woman in all the photos. She was so very young and she was so very beautiful. Just as he could understand her oh so full of himself husband not valuing the real gem he already possessed with the love of his wife, he could understand her middle-aged husband's head being turned by such a young and beautiful vixen. Certainly, had he not been rich, this gold digger wouldn't have given him a second glance.
"Maybe, you shouldn't bother with the photos, Princess. I don't want to upset you. Besides, you have more than enough reason to leave him than to—"
"May I have my husband's photos...please? "
She had a confident way about her.. Not to be denied seeing the photos, she said please in such a way that made him give them to her.
She looked through the photos, at first flashing through them very quickly. Her eyes were tearing up. The second time she looked at the photos, she took her time looking at them. Now, she looked more hurt than angry. Once the color drained from her face, she appeared sad. Only, was her sadness because she couldn't compete with someone so young and so beautiful? Or was in not sadness but disappointment in the man she thought she loved and she thought loved her?
Twenty-four years of memories is a long amount of time to throw away for a fling with a secretary who only wants him for your money. For such a smart man, he was stupid in allowing his cock to do his thinking for him.
How could such a powerful, influential, and special man fall for such a fluff of a woman and give up her for that? Certainly, she could never care for him in the way she had nurtured his financial success over two and a half decades. What could she possibly do for him, other than give him a blowjob? The third time she stared at them, it was obvious that she was angry.
"He's so typical. He's such a fool."
"Princess, we can be at the airport and gone before your husband even comes home."
"Look," she said holding up the photo to him. "She has my ring," she said pointing to the exact ring prominently displayed on the woman's finger. "She's wearing my ring."
He leaned in for a better look at the photo.
"From the photo, that looks like the real gemstone, but I'd have to see the ring before I could make—"
"Does he buy all his tootsies copies of the same ring or did he give her my ring and leave me with the fake?"
Now, she was really mad.
"Let's not ruin what we suddenly have. We're lucky to have found—"
"I need to play this out. I need to get what is mine. My husband has a lot of my money and after serving him faithfully for twenty-four years I can't just up and leave him and allow some young bimbo to walk in and take all that I've worked so hard to earn. I want my half. I'm not leaving until he realizes what he lost, especially where it will hurt him the most. In his pocket."
"I can't argue with you. I understand.. I'd be angry too, if I were you."
She gave him a look of surprised shock before she started giggling.
"Here I am about to give up this life to run away with you to our tropical paradise and our nirvana that has snakes and bugs and monkeys and God only knows what else and..." she started laughing again. Now, it was a wild laugh, a belly laugh, a stress relieving laugh, and a laugh that she couldn't stop until she started crying.
"It's okay, Princess. It's okay. Really it is," he said gently massaging her shoulder. "Everything will be wonderful. I can wait until you settle your personal affairs with your husband. I can wait until your lawyer confronts his lawyer with the photos. He'll settle this out of court, no doubt, and will give you whatever you want."
"I don't want anything from him, other than my share of the money that he earned during the course of our marriage."
"And I agree. Someone like him doesn't want a scandal and doesn't want his reputation sullied with his stuffy and unforgiving Beacon Hill and Back Bay clients. I've seen this before with some of the things that I've found in safes and confronted the owners with through intermediaries to extort them for more money on the threat of anonymously mailing what I found to their spouses or to the police," he said with a laugh. "They are always happy to pay."
"No, that's not it," she said wiping her eyes while laughing. "It just occurred to me that I'm ready to run away with you to a tropical paradise in the South Pacific and I don't even know your name."
They both started laughing at the ridiculousness of that. They laughed until they both had tears in their eyes. After the stress of seeing the proof that her husband was still having an affair with the secretary that he told her he had fired and after seeing his secretary wearing her beautiful one-of-a-kind ring, laughter was what she needed. At least he didn't give her pearls, she thought. The thought of which made her laugh even harder.
"Martin."
"Paron?" She stopped laughing long enough to wipe her tears away.
"My name is Martin."
"Martin?" She started laughing again. Her laughter was contagious and he started laughing again, too. Barely could she ask her next question without bursting out laughing. "Is that your first name or your last name?"
"Both," he said with a laugh that made them laugh even more. "My name is Martin Martin."
"Martin Martin? I can't run away with someone who has two first names," she said bursting out with uncontrollable laughter. "Or worse, two last names?"
Now, she was belly laughing and rolling on the bed laughing and he was laughing with her.
"My Dad had a weird sense of humor," said Martin laughing with her. "He thought it funny to name his only son, Martin Martin Martin. I go by Marty," he said before making her laugh even more. "Marty Martin Martin is my name."
"Stop, I can't take it anymore. Martin Martin Martin," she said laughing. "Marty Martin Martin, this is too funny."
"I took quite a bit of ribbing in school. You should see my monogram," he said making her laugh even more with him joining her.
"That is so funny," she said while wiping tears from her eyes. "Marty Martin Martin. Seriously, I can't run away with someone who has such a redundant name. I've always like the name Chuck. I know, I shall call you Chuck," she said with a laugh. "Chuck Chuckie Charles, shall be your new name," she laughed even more.
"Well, fortunately, I like the name that I've given you, Princess, and I'm pleased that you like it, too. So, in our new life we shall go by Princess and Chuck."
Ultimately Kathy got her real ring back and more.
But that is a seperate story.
Sunday, January 25, 2009
Be Positive Like This Boy (Humor)
A Lady Teacher was having trouble with one of her students in 1st Grade class. Madam asked,'Boy. What is your problem?'
Boy answered, 'I'm too smart for the first-grade. My sister is in the third-grade and I'm smarter than she is! I think I should be in the 4th Grade!'
Madam took the Boy to the principal's office. While the Boy waited in the outer office, madam explained to the principal what the situation was. The principal told Madam he would give the boy a test and if he failed to answer any of his
Questions he had to go back to the first-grade. Madam agreed.
The Boy was brought in and the conditions were explained to him and he agreed to take the test.
Principal: 'What is 3 x 3?'
Boy.: '9'.
Principal: 'What is 6 x 6?'
Boy.: '36'.
And so it went with every question the principal thought a 4th grade should know. The principal looks at Madam and tells her, 'I think Boy can go to the 4th grade.'
Madam says to the principal, 'I have some of my own questions'.
'Can I ask him ?' The principal and Boy both agreed.
Madam asks, 'What does a cow have four of that I have only two of'?
Boy, after a moment 'Legs.'
Madam: 'What is in your pants that you have but I do not have?'
Boy.: 'Pockets.'
Madam: What starts with a C and ends with a T, is hairy, oval,
Delicious and contains thin whitish liquid?
Boy.: Coconut
Madam: What goes in hard and pink then comes out soft And sticky?
The principal's eyes open really wide and before he could stop the answer, Boy was taking charge.
Boy.: Bubblegum
Madam: What does a man do standing up, a woman does sitting down and a dog does on three legs?
The principal's eyes open really wide and before he could stop the answer..
Boy.: Shake hands
Madam: You stick your poles inside me. You tie me down to get me up. I get wet before you do.
Boy.: Tent
Madam: A finger goes in me. You fiddle with me when you're bored. The best man always has me first.
The Principal was looking restless, a bit tense and took one large Patiala Vodka peg.
Boy.: Wedding Ring
Madam: I come in many sizes. When I'm not well, I drip. When you blow me, you feel good.
Boy.: Nose
Madam: I have a stiff shaft. My tip penetrates. I come with a quiver.
Boy.: Arrow
Madam: What word starts with a 'F' and ends in 'K' that means lot of heat and excitement?
Boy.: Fire truck
Madam: What word starts with a 'F' and ends in 'K' & if u don't get it, u have to use ur hand.
Boy.: Fork
Madam: What is it that all men have one of it's longer on some men than on others, the pope doesn't use his and a man gives it to his wife after they're married?
Boy.: SURNAME.
Madam: What part of the man has no bone but has muscles, has lots of veins, like pumping, & is responsible for making love ?
Boy.: HEART.
The principal breathed a sigh of relief and said to the teacher,
'Send this Boy to IIM AHMEDABAD (Indian Institute Of Management)
I got the last ten questions wrong myself!'
Boy answered, 'I'm too smart for the first-grade. My sister is in the third-grade and I'm smarter than she is! I think I should be in the 4th Grade!'
Madam took the Boy to the principal's office. While the Boy waited in the outer office, madam explained to the principal what the situation was. The principal told Madam he would give the boy a test and if he failed to answer any of his
Questions he had to go back to the first-grade. Madam agreed.
The Boy was brought in and the conditions were explained to him and he agreed to take the test.
Principal: 'What is 3 x 3?'
Boy.: '9'.
Principal: 'What is 6 x 6?'
Boy.: '36'.
And so it went with every question the principal thought a 4th grade should know. The principal looks at Madam and tells her, 'I think Boy can go to the 4th grade.'
Madam says to the principal, 'I have some of my own questions'.
'Can I ask him ?' The principal and Boy both agreed.
Madam asks, 'What does a cow have four of that I have only two of'?
Boy, after a moment 'Legs.'
Madam: 'What is in your pants that you have but I do not have?'
Boy.: 'Pockets.'
Madam: What starts with a C and ends with a T, is hairy, oval,
Delicious and contains thin whitish liquid?
Boy.: Coconut
Madam: What goes in hard and pink then comes out soft And sticky?
The principal's eyes open really wide and before he could stop the answer, Boy was taking charge.
Boy.: Bubblegum
Madam: What does a man do standing up, a woman does sitting down and a dog does on three legs?
The principal's eyes open really wide and before he could stop the answer..
Boy.: Shake hands
Madam: You stick your poles inside me. You tie me down to get me up. I get wet before you do.
Boy.: Tent
Madam: A finger goes in me. You fiddle with me when you're bored. The best man always has me first.
The Principal was looking restless, a bit tense and took one large Patiala Vodka peg.
Boy.: Wedding Ring
Madam: I come in many sizes. When I'm not well, I drip. When you blow me, you feel good.
Boy.: Nose
Madam: I have a stiff shaft. My tip penetrates. I come with a quiver.
Boy.: Arrow
Madam: What word starts with a 'F' and ends in 'K' that means lot of heat and excitement?
Boy.: Fire truck
Madam: What word starts with a 'F' and ends in 'K' & if u don't get it, u have to use ur hand.
Boy.: Fork
Madam: What is it that all men have one of it's longer on some men than on others, the pope doesn't use his and a man gives it to his wife after they're married?
Boy.: SURNAME.
Madam: What part of the man has no bone but has muscles, has lots of veins, like pumping, & is responsible for making love ?
Boy.: HEART.
The principal breathed a sigh of relief and said to the teacher,
'Send this Boy to IIM AHMEDABAD (Indian Institute Of Management)
I got the last ten questions wrong myself!'
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